sporadica.

A haphazard look into absurdity that is my life:

I actually enjoy doing laundry, and await with anticipation the moment I can take toasty, fragrant clothes out of the dryer and scoop them up in a big embrace... I most certainly would win the award for "most water glasses accidentally knocked over." I insist on taking a glass of water with me to bed each night, even though I am a veritable klutz and knock over nearly every single one... I am from a big family and have always wanted lots of children, but each day I get this aching feeling that I will never have what I want... Coffee makes me crazy with the jitters (it is usually just silliness but sometimes I get wicked anxious) and I probably should not be allowed to have it but I love it. I cannot stop drinking it, almost incessantly now... I like all sorts of people, but have a particular affinity for the shy ones. I find their silence intriguing rather than unnerving, and like to believe they hold some secret I will get to share if I stick around long enough... I still do not know what I want to be when I grow up. I love teaching, so I hope it works out, but I have such a restless heart, I never know when I will get bored with something and want more... I talk to myself. If I get really excited I will shout out to nobody and giggle with joy, and sometimes when I get really lonely at night I whisper into my pillow. Yeah, crazy (and weird), I know... I really like owls and roosters and chickadees. I am not sure where this strange bird fixation came from, but alas, I am stricken... I have bad knees. My knee caps are insanely too small for my legs and it has caused all sorts of problems. I creak and crack like an old lady. It upsets me... I will be incredibly busy this coming month (can you believe it?), mostly with school but also with bits of fun speckled here and there. I will try my best to keep you informed but please do not hate me if I fail. I promise that I love you and I am coming back soon. Ciao!

fruitless.

So, I have been feeling absurdly unproductive lately. That is not to say that I have not been getting anything done, because I am well-nigh the busiest girl on the planet but, I dunno, none of it feels meaningful. It's quite frustrating, actually. I wake up around 5:30 every morning, sometimes earlier, and do not return home until about 8:30 in the evening, and I am running around all times in between, but I seem to get nothing accomplished. I am tired and remiss and ineffectual... where is my joie de vivre? Where are the fiery passions I felt ablaze in me only a week ago? Something has sapped my energy, my élan vital, and I find myself a tad apathetic. Any suggestions? I need a wakeup call. Red Bull give me wings! :P

finding my own rabbit hole

   

So this is the new year...

So it is 2010 and a new year has begun. I suppose that I would be playing the archetypal, cliché blogger if I was to provide you now with my annual list of resolutions. Not that I do not have such a list (I almost always have an ever-evolving queue of aspirations and "to-dos" close at hand), but for the moment I will abstain from revealing it to you. Perhaps at some point I will disclose all of the innermost ambitions and schemes of my heart, but for now you will have to content yourself with something different. Being the list-making maven that I am, I offer you instead a register of things that tickle my fancy, just little bits from life that put a smile on my face. What better way to start a new year than with a reflection on all the wonderful things that make me glad to be here experiencing life with you? So here it is, my dear, in no particular order and only the tiniest tip of the iceberg: a list of the many things that light me up like the stars in the sky. You may or may not know some already. Happy new year!

1. thick, creamy steamed milk on top of my cappuccino.
2. cracking crème brûlée with a little spoon (and eating it, of course! yum)
3. words. words to read, words to write, words to speak, words to sing, words to hear. I cannot get enough.
4. self-portraiture. watching people discover themselves through a lens is such a beautiful thing.
5. making something with my hands. knitting. sketching. sewing. creating.
6. foreign films. foreign language. foreign cuisine. I love experiencing how other people see the world.
7. driving with the windows down and singing at the top of my lungs.
8. walking barefoot... on the sand, in the grass, on the pavement, on cold wood floors. I like to feel the earth and let it feel me.
9. boutiques/little shops. I love the intimacy and quaintness of local vendors, regardless of their fare, be it chocolate or tea or vinyls or books or vintage clothing or antiques or art...
10. airport boarding gates. the thrill of going somewhere new or visiting an old friend... few things compare.
11. the feeling of my hand in yours.
12. old photographs and family heirlooms.
13. spearmint toothpaste.
14. Christmas carols.
15. epiphanies. I think I have them on a daily basis.
16. flowers. all kinds, especially hand-picked.
17. libraries. getting lost in all they have to offer.
18. the smell of burnt matches.
19. coconut shrimp. the world knows no better food.
20. my family, my first true love: the ones that live, the ones I've lost, the ones yet to come.

I (we) have so much to be thankful for. I suppose it would not be too brash of me to offer one resolution I have for the new year: to discover as many delightful and charming things as I am able. Now, which of life's little snippets make you sing?