out of doors.

Don't you just love being outside? The overbooked schedule and extra-frigid days of the past couple weeks have me longing for warm sunshine and fresh air. Doug and I have ventured outside to the local state park a few times this January, but the bitter cold sends us (okay, me) back indoors much sooner than I would like. These are a few of our frosty sights during our brief outdoor exploits: tenacious evergreens laughing at their deciduous kin; wispy grasses quivering in the icy air; vibrant mosses clinging to the decaying forest. Nature is so inspiring. How do I let myself forget that, even for a minute?

Below is a photograph from the same park where Douglas and I steal a little bit of peace of mind from time to time (and maybe some branches for Doug's arrow ambitions) except this time with lace dresses and tanned skin rather than woolen layers and runny noses. Somebody let me out - springtime adventures are calling my name!

updates.

So much to do, so little time. That seems to be the quote of my life!

2013 is starting off in a busy, boisterous, bustling fashion... not that I am complaining :) I am finally back on my feet and seem to have kicked the remnants of the nasty cold that had been clinging to me since Christmas. A juice fast and daily vitamins have done the trick, or at least so it appears. There are so many things going on - exciting, stressful, encouraging, challenging - and I cannot wait to share them with you!

Douglas is back in school, the start of his senior year, and the work has already started piling on. He was recently asked to be a teacher's assistant for an algorithms class and we are already realizing how much extra effort and focus that is going to require this semester. I am so very proud of him. Before I met Doug, I had always thought that I was "good at math"; I made it through Calculus I and II (at least, the Liberal Arts version of those courses) and I have been a math tutor for calculus and algebra... then I caught a glimpse of some of the work Doug is expected to do for his computer science degree. It is no joke, let me tell you: terms and symbols I have never heard of or seen before, complex equations that take days to solve, concepts that I cannot even begin to wrap my brain around. Despite the difficulty of the work he encounters, Doug approaches everything he has to do with discipline and direction. His dedication to his studies is truly admirable. Way to go, baby!

I am slowly making it through my least favorite time of the school year: midterm. Not only does the dreadful end of second quarter mean examinations and essays to prepare and grade, but I also have to do course recommendations for next year - one of my least favorite experiences in the entire world! The good news is that in one more week it will all be over and done with, and I will be off on my merry teacher way once again. In the meantime, I apologize for the lack of posts.

So many new projects are piling up on this little lady's desk. My tutoring schedule is completely booked, which has taken up most of my free time lately (I am not complaining though, it has been a financial blessing), and I am gearing up to begin practices for African American - Latino Festival, a performance based club I am supervising for the first time. I have several photography projects I would like to pursue, so I am itching for warmer weather and the chance to spend more time outdoors. Douglas and I purchased a new blog domain, and I am hoping to start some web design and get that whole project up and running soon (more details to come). My apartment also needs attention; I have been brainstorming some organization and decoration ideas that I would like to see into fruition (does anyone know how to make a slipcover for a sofa?) I also have a trip or two in the works. In a few weeks I will be popping over to Arizona for a couple days to visit my dear friend, Renée, before she gives birth to her first child this spring. So much is going on, so much to be thankful for and excited about.

I appreciate your patience during one of my most infrequent posting times of the year. You guys are the best!

Me being, you know, me :)

diary of a twenty-something teacher, part iii

I have to be honest, I was not going to post tonight. This week is one of those jam-packed, in-over-my-head, what-did-I-get-myself-into sort of weeks and I have not been taking it very well thus far. Usually when I am feeling overwhelmingly negative I run and hide from the world, revealing my inner despair only to my poor sissy and dearest Douglas, who have to listen to my overwhelming, overreactive interpretations of my crazy, chaotic, calamitous (perfectly normal) life. I try to keep this blog upbeat and inspiration, if only for myself, and avoid sharing on those days when I feel like the roof is caving in (most of the time)... but this evening I started thinking that, perhaps, my avoidance of writing when I am feeling overly-anxious is really just another way of allowing myself to wallow in my sadness and self-pity and avoid facing the fact that things really aren't that bad. I reminded myself that I absolutely love writing this blog, and I absolutely should not avoid the things that I love, especially not in some sorry attempt at self-preservation.

So, here is a confession, readers, think of me what you will: today I spent practically the entire day feeling sorry for myself. I am tired. I am stressed out. I miss my boyfriend. I am eating my feelings. This morning I woke up, after receiving fairly little sleep, to hurry off to work in preparation for my final formal observation of the year. I worked straight through lunch, supervising one of my many clubs, and finished the day only to scramble out the door to a meeting with the superintendent. After that I downed a coffee on my way back to meet foreign exchange students, who just arrived as part of another club activity, to ensure their proper arrival with their host families. Then it was off to pay for the pizzas that my club will be eating as part of a reception during lunch tomorrow and to the market to chow down on some dinner before two and a half hours of tutoring. I arrived home at 9 p.m., exhausted, with three stacks of assignments to grade, a quiz to create for tomorrow, and a need for several articles for a very difficult lesson I will be teaching (also tomorrow). I am also still struggling with the tail end of this illness. Teaching is no joke, let me tell you.

And here I am in my beloved bed, laptop propped up on my knees, reflecting on the last twenty-four hours. About an hour ago I was ready to go to sleep feeling absolutely horrible about my overly-busy day: all the things I had to get done, all the things still left to do, and the lack of time for myself. Now that I am actually thinking about it, however, today was not the disaster I was trying to convince myself it was. Yes, I am tired, and no, I did not have time to get to the gym or take photographs or to cook my dinner from scratch... but overall, today was pretty successful. I gave a solid lesson for the school principal today and had fun doing it (I even danced a few times). I put to rest any fears about the superintendent's observation from a few weeks past and got reassurance that sometimes I actually know what I am doing. I met a few wonderful people today and will get to spend the next few weeks learning about them and their culture. I made a little extra much-needed money. Doug's sister, Janine, sent me a picture of my man hard at work on his new bow, and I was reminded that I am madly in love with someone and, even better, he loves me, too. And, most importantly: I survived the day. So, really, when I actually force myself to think about it, today was pretty awesome. If I let it, I think tomorrow will be, too.

I am perpetually failing, but I am perpetually picking myself up and trying again as well... and that is something worth writing about.

go-go.

I am a girl you will usually find dressed in quirky school teacher outfits or simple jeans and a t-shirt on days when I do not have to play grown-up. I like to keep it simple and flexible... not to mention the fact that, klutz that I am, I usually cannot go five minutes without spilling something on my clothing. That being said, I still love getting dressed up every once in a while. I was so happy that Doug and I finally got a chance to go out for a nice dinner this weekend, giving me the excuse to get a little dolled up. I have not been shopping for myself for months, so I just threw on "some old thing," but I still had fun twirling around my room and feeling extra pretty for the evening. I ended up looking a bit like a go-go dancer in my minidress and tall black boots, but I was loving every minute of it. I think Doug should take me out more often so I can get dressed up again. Wink, wink ;)

into the woods.

Douglas and I got the opportunity to spend some time out of doors this weekend - finally! I am still struggling with a bit of lingering chest congestion from my winter sickness, but it was nice to have a little extra energy and the ability to get outside for a short period of time. Doug, my bearded woodsman, has set his sights on constructing a bow and arrow set from scratch, so we headed off into the woods to do some stealthy sapling extraction. Since it is not exactly legal to take things out of nature that do not belong to you, I will not reveal the exact location of our confiscation, but I am happy to report that the young tree from whose trunk we took our branch is expected to continue on toward a long and healthy life. Doug is expected to start the whittling and wood preparation tomorrow. Wish him luck. The remainder of our weekend was spent relaxing, enjoying a nice meal (courtesy of a gift certificate I received for writing a college recommendation), and worrying about money and future careers and lots of other nonessentials... Douglas has now returned home and I am left to prepare for the final lesson observation of my tenure year and to restart the effort toward reaching my fitness goals now that my lungs are clearing up. I think I may need a bit of luck as well. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

glimpses.

Happy new year, everyone! For those of you who do not know, I have been quite sick lately and spent the bulk of my holiday vacation in bed... No exciting Christmas adventures or glamorous New Year's Eve parties for Douglas or I. No, these were a pretty miserable last few weeks, but I am hoping I just had to get all the "bad" out before the new year arrived. Now I am back at work and trying to recover. Christmas came and went in a blur, we spent half the holiday with my family and the other half with Doug's. The day after Christmas we enjoyed a nice little game night with Doug's friend, Katie, and on the way home that evening I was stricken with fever and chills and that was that for pretty much the rest of my vacation. We did go see the Hobbit, though, which was quite fun.

I have been taking a teacher course on East Asian history at Princeton University with my friend, Alison, and got to enjoy some yummy coffee from the shop where Douglas and I first met. Doug and I also got a chance to visit my mother's grave recently. I am not a big fan of going to the cemetery, but I like to get out to her gravesite a couple times a year. It's really a very pretty stone, in my opinion. Some homemade peppermint bark for a new friend. A beautiful bouquet Douglas surprised me with, just because (he is the best). A little felt bear getting ready to go onto a newly-made Christmas stocking. How was your holiday?