glimpses.

1. Wishing that this "ball buster" wine was a little cheaper because we HAVE to try it - Doug's surname is Tait, and he is always "b'ing my b's"
2. Loving the soft, red scarf my aunt got me for Christmas!
3. Pretty painted nails and nearly broken toe. Me = klutz
4. Cheesecake. Just because.
5. First draft of a map project I am working on. More to come. I'm excited.
6. New winter staple: target shirt, black leggings, Douglas's hat. Maybe too cozy?
7. Dreaming that life had one of these little buttons... still learning how to let go and give up control on a daily basis.

Sigh. Another February break has come and gone. I am headed back to school tomorrow, and although I will probably perk back up when I am with my students again and slip right back into the ol' routine, for now I am ruing the fact that I have to return to work. Wahhh... complain complain.

In other news, I cannot believe that in a few short days it will be March already. Where does the time go?! Though I am someone who loves all seasons, I have to admit that this year I am very ready for warmer weather to get here. I have been sick more times than I can count and I am ready for some fresh air and time spent out of doors. I definitely had a small case of the winter blues this year. What do you do to keep up the positivity during the cold months?

raising arizona, part ii.

Snow. Can you believe it? And there I was, thinking that I would be trading the frigid Jersey air for a few days in the warm Arizona sun. Is there anyone out there who still does not believe in global warming? My second full day in Arizona was a sharp contrast to the clear day spent in the Santa Catalina Mountains. Freezing rain, enormous snow flakes, cold, wet toes, Christmas music on the radio... not really what I was expecting. Despite the inclement weather, it was still nice to visit with friends, experience the American Southwest, oh yeah, and EAT!

My brief trip to Tucson was filled with delicious treats. Spending time with my beautifully pregnant friend was a great excuse, um I mean opportunity, to stuff my gourd with the irresistible local fare. Authentic Mexican cuisine, my first In-N-Out burger (I personally like Five Guys better), fully loaded Sonora hot dogs... I mean, how could I resist? Here is a quick glimpse at some of the reasons Douglas and I are juicing this weekend:

The remainder of my vacation was spent digesting. We also made a lot of progress in Douglas's hunt for internships and Renée and I attempted to solve her poor little chickens' mystery murder case (we later discovered it was a bobcat attack). All in all, it was a short albeit fun-filled few days and I am so glad I made the trip. Thanks, Tucson, for showing me a good time. I cannot wait for my next adventures... a wedding in Philadelphia, a short trip up to Beantown... who knows what else is in store :)

raising arizona, part i.

I beat myself up quite often for not accomplishing all of things on my various to-do lists. Despite my constant failures, big and small, I am rather good at going places. I love to travel and I have found ways to sneak trips in whenever I am able. In the last seven years I have been to 27 different major cities, both national and international, not including my semiannual trips to New York, Boston, and Philadelphia. This week, I find myself in Tucson, Arizona, visiting my lifelong friend, Renée, before she and her husband, Mark, welcome their first baby. I have been in Arizona for about 36 hours now and I have already bore witness to all four seasons. I have experienced cool spring breezes, hot summer sun, chilly autumn rain, and even some short-lived winter snow. The weather is crazy here!

Yesterday, Renée took me up Mount Lemmon in Coronado National Forest. The temperature dropped about twenty degrees while we drove toward the summit. When we reached a nice lookout point, we stopped for some photos and a bit of sunshine - the views were incredible! My favorite parts were the rock formations and the saguaro, which reminded me of the dancing cacti in one of my family's all-time favorite movies, Disney's "The Three Caballeros." I had never seen either in person, and it made me feel like I was really absorbing a true piece of Arizona.

Today, I am huddled up in The Chocolate Iguana, an independent coffee shop in downtown Tucson. I have been watching the icy rain fall through foggy windows, contemplating my wet, frozen little toes and gulping down hot caffè latte in an attempt to warm up. I am here escaping the rain and struggling to lesson plan before Renée picks me up for some more culinary indulgences (this afternoon I enjoyed delicious tamales and cochinita from The Little Cafe Poca Cosa and I have been scarfing down fresh eggs from Renée and Mark's hens in the morning). No matter how lightly I plan on eating when I go on trips, I cannot help trying local cuisine and always end up eating way too much... juice fast this weekend, Douglas?

I really miss the mountains. Doug and I have been waiting for a bit more free time and some warmer weather; I hope we can hit the trails soon!

dream on.

Do you ever just feel so completely overwhelmed with ideas and/or desires that you think your brain might be headed for a meltdown at any moment? Yeah, that is me. One major goal in my life is to learn to live a bit simpler. In a world that says go!go!go! and advocates convenience over quality, I am constantly reminding myself to take deep breaths and remember what is important. I will NOT eat that Kraft macaroni and cheese simply because it is easy. I will NOT buy that poorly-made, mass-produced piece of junk simply because it is cheap.  Local, organic, environmentally-responsible food is a priority to me, and I make room for it in my budget above other things because I value what I put into my body. I will not compromise on the things I feed myself or my loved ones, even if that means I go without other things I might want. For some reason, when it comes to spending money, I have no problems setting priorities and goals... but when I try to apply that same mentality to my own personal dreams and interests my mind seems to malfunction.

American society puts a big emphasis on dreams. I can remember being bombarded with this mantra as a child: dream big. Dare to dream. You can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it. Reach for the stars. I bought into it... maybe too much. Doug and I are both big dreamers. We have aspirations for practically every category of our lives. We share many of those "popular" goals with others, i.e. owning a home, having children, but we also have many (many, many) personal dreams.

Doug, for instance, not only aspires to work in the field of computer science, but he would also like to continue to grow as a musician. He's currently learning guitar and I cannot think of very many instruments that he would not like to learn to play. He would like to play in a band again, once his schedule calms down, and to write music. Doug would like to learn to fly airplanes and to have his own workspace where he can tinker and build things. He wants to climb mountains and see the world. All reasonable goals, I suppose.

I, on the other hand, can barely fit all of my dreams into the space between my ears. I want children, more than Douglas wants, and I want to stay home with them. I want to have a small family farm and learn how the soil, and nature, and the seasons work. I'd like to raise sheep, and bees, too! I want to learn the piano and write folk songs and poetry. I want to CREATE - what, I don't know yet - photography, pottery, watercolors, the perfect banana bread... all things I have yet to learn. I want to perfect my Spanish and my Italian and learn to speak French. I want to know sign language. I want to earn my PhD and teach. I want to take yoga classes and keep my 24" waistline until I'm 70 years old. I want to own my own business and be featured on someone's blog. I dream of owning a sailboat and taking my family along the coastline in the summertime. I want to read books, lots of books, and to be published. I want to sing in a band and to explore exotic places. I want to knit scarves and mittens, make quilts, and spend afternoons at the library before going home to cook dinner for my family.

I know that all of my ambitions are not possible; that I haven't the time or means to do everything it is I dream of doing. Life is short, and success is about prioritizing. What I really want is a simple life, full of love, doing the things I am meant to do. But what am I meant to do?! When I think about settling down on the things I really want to do, I draw a blank. Other than starting a family, I am not driven to do one thing more than another - I want it all! So how does one go about finding one's true passions? How does one discover one's talents when there are so many things to try and so little time to try them? Where does one start?

Today's photo challenge was "hope." I decided to snap a picture of my sneakers, because tonight, as I trudge to the gym, they are my vehicle of hope... hope that I will reach my goals. Hope that I will find peace of mind in the path that I choose - hope I will even know what path that is. Hope that I can burn off the brownies they so cruelly served at today's faculty meeting. Here's hoping!

have some fun! you deserve it.