glimpses.

Just a few shots from my recent trip across the pond.  Old cemeteries, stately ships, mossy coastlines, and plenty of tea and fancies :)  It was delightful! Send me back?

my bonnie scotland

I am recently returned from the beautiful Shetland Islands of Scotland.  My flight came in on Monday night and I have been trying to stay awake ever since... I had to go to work the next morning so I have not really stopped running around since I landed and I am still a teensy bit jet-lagged.  Hopefully this weekend will turn me right-side up...

Shetland is everything you would imagine Scotland to be - rolling green hills, a light mist of rain, cliffs crashing into the North Sea.  I had a lovely, albeit busy, time overseas.  Traveling to the islands was no easy feat either; after a long flight over to Heathrow in London, we hopped a short flight to Aberdeen and then took a thirteen hour ferry through the rocky, tempestuous sea.  It was quite a journey... what a rewarding experience, though!  We were sent overseas as what I like to call "educational ambassadors."  Our mission was to study the Scottish educational system to bring ideas back to our home school and make suggestions for positive changes and best practices to use in the future.  Not only did I bring back a stronger understanding and opinion of the American education system and an appreciation for a different culture, but I made some great friends and had a wonderful time in the process.  

I love exploring new places, don't you?  Now, fully saturated with tea and already missing the sight of wooly sheep grazing all around me, I eagerly look forward to the next adventure.  If only it would come sooner :)

ten things: that I do to be green.

As a very smart frog once said, "It's not easy being green."

I decided that I would do an early Earth Day post, since I will be in Scotland during the actual holiday and I do not know what my internet capabilities will be.  I have a LONG way to go in achieving a life that is as environmentally responsible as I would like it to be, but I thought I might share a few of the changes that I HAVE made as I attempt to live a little greener.  

1. compost: my mum always had a compost going in our backyard and, upon moving into my own place last year, I thought I should have one, too.  Composting is a great way to reduce waste output while creating richer, more nutritious soil for your family garden!  I got my composter from gaiam.com, but for those of you on a budget, you can easily start a compost "pile" or "bin" anywhere in your backyard.

2. reusable bags: by the end of this post I am going to sound like a walking advertisement for Whole Foods, but really that's just because, for me, it is the most conveniently-located store that supports the lifestyle I am striving for.  I have gotten several reusable bags from WF that I use for carrying groceries, papers for grading, and even clothing when I go away for the weekend.  Even if you recycle, taking disposable bags from the grocer tells producers "we need these," which only increases production.  Reusing bags not only reduces waste, but it reduces the need for making MORE disposable bags.

3. responsible coffee: I choose to make my coffee in a french press because it saves energy, reduces waste (no disposable filters!), and it looks très chic!  Doug and I have been drinking this awesome fair-trade coffee that his sister bought for us for Christmas.

4. reusable beverage containers: the less you need to buy, the less waste you create.  It's really as simple as that.  Whenever possible, I carry refillable beverage containers for my morning cup or for water on the go.  Check out this awesome short video on the damage of one-use water bottles: http://www.storyofstuff.org/movies-all/story-of-bottled-water/

5. packaging: so many stores are offering ways to reduce packaging during your trip to the market.  Many grocers offer reusable bags for carrying produce or buying in bulk.  For hardy things like apples and zucchini, I just skip the bag altogether.  Who needs it?  Simply refuse unnecessary packaging.  If your every-day products bulk up on extra plastic, stop buying them!  If you can't live without them, write a letter to the company demanding that they change their ways.  Every dollar you spend (or don't) is a vote for change.

6. eco-friendly products: as someone with sensitive skin, I am drawn to products with no phosphates, sulfates, or added perfume and dyes.  As an environmentalist, these products are becoming a must!  I am more than happy to spend the extra dollar or two on the earth-friendly brands.  According to Seventh Generation: if every household in the U.S. replaced just ONE bottle of 25 oz. petroleum-based dishwashing liquid with a plant-derived product, we could save 5.2 million gallons of oil...

7. consume less meat: start educating yourself on the environmental and health costs of the typical American diet.  Overconsumption of meat is not only dangerous to your health, but it wreaks havoc on the planet!  Eating less meat and choosing meat that is raised in a responsible, humane manner are great steps toward ensuring a better future for your family and the environment.

8. paperless: as someone who LOVES the printed word, it has not been easy for me to make the transition into the digital world.  I love the smell of new books, the feel of a newspaper in my hands, the joy of penning a handwritten letter... but more paper means more trees, and I am slowly training myself to use less of it.  Wish me luck.

9. local/organic: as I mentioned earlier, Whole Foods is the most convenient store for me to shop and still achieve the goals I am working toward.  As a national company, however, WF brings in products from all over the country and all over the world.  I do the best I can to look for local labels and consume foods that are in season.  Yes, I do indulge in my daily cup of coffee and the occasional piece of chocolate, which to my knowledge do not grow in the northeastern U.S., but I try to keep non-local, non-seasonal consumption to a minimum.  In the summer, when I don't have to commute back and forth to work every day, I try to walk to local farmer's markets. And yes, I am willing to pay the extra pretty penny to get products that I know are high-quality and responsible.  For those of you who don't think you can afford the price of organic or local food... I challenge you to look around your budget, I bet if you look hard enough you'll find odds and ends that could be better spent elsewhere.  Just my two cents.

10. walk: living in Hoboken gives me a great opportunity to get around without using my car.  I walk for fun, for exercise, for peace of mind, and to get the things I need.

These are just some of the things that I do to contribute to a better planet.  It's a small list, and I am hoping to expand it as I learn and grow.  What do you do to be green?  I cannot wait to read about it when I get back from Scotland.  Until next week!

glimpses.

Fresh produce, study parties, visiting friends, and silly faces...

I love spring :)

Just taking a day to reflect on and enjoy the lovely things I have going on this spring.  Doug is finishing up school and I am preparing for my upcoming trip to Scotland (more details later).  My head is filling up with wonderful little schemes for trips, recipes, and other delightful adventures.  I am so happy the warm weather has returned!  

on seeking contentment...

She says, "But in contentment I still feel

The need of some imperishable bliss."

Death is the mother of beauty; hence from her,

Alone, shall come fulfillment to our dreams

And our desires.

- Wallace Stevens, Sunday Morning

I am fortunate enough to be in the middle of spring break and to have just spent a nice long stretch with Doug and his family, celebrating the Easter holiday and visiting some dear friends.  I am a lucky girl in general: to have my health, my family, my education... to have seen the places I have seen and to have read the books I've read... to be in love with a wonderful man and to have his love in return.  God has been generous to me and I have more than some people could ever dream of, yet I still dream and often find it hard (sometimes almost unbearable) to be happy in the here and now.  This has been a struggle of mine for quite some time and it has become increasingly challenging the older I get.  I am, however, writing this post after what I consider to be a truly revelatory past few days.  I hope that in my new awareness I will be able to start down a path that involves more appreciation for where I am, and I hope that in reading this you might be able to help me down that path...

I love my family.  Each individual in my immediate family (and many in my extended family) has played a part in crafting the creature that I am today and has continuously challenged me to be a better person.  I am forever grateful for their contributions to my life and look with anticipation to the years to come.  This life journey, though, has not been an easy one.  The home of my childhood was one of discontent.  Despite the love, laughter, and emotion that undoubtedly flowed throughout my household when I was young, there lacked a sense of fulfillment that brings safety and security to a young child.  I cannot remember a time when the individuals in my family truly radiated a sense of inner happiness, of contentment with their lives.  It seemed that there was always something missing... the winning lottery ticket, the dream makeover, the new car.  Something was keeping us from having our "perfect" life.  Growing up in such a home, where no one was truly satisfied with how things were - where no one was truly satisfied with me - was difficult.  I began creating my own dream world where I could be happy, where I could escape the disappointment and depression that surrounded me, a place where I brought joy to everyone, where I cared for them and kept them safe.  In doing so, I thought I was finding my own true sense happiness, but what I am realizing now is that I was simply continuing a tradition... of learning to only be happy in a place that does not exist, a place in the future and just out of reach.

Over the years, this dream world evolved.  What started out as a simple hope for a family and a home has become a detailed vision of farms and flowers, babies and holiday feasts, dogs and dresses.  In the best of times, the dream has something to look forward to, the "reward" for my years of hard work.  In the worst of times, it has been the one thing that keeps me going, the light at the end of the tunnel.  Every year of my life that has gone by, every milestone that has been reached, has simply been viewed as one step closer to that dream, the time I will finally be happy.  Other than fleeting moments of joy or peace, I can scarce remember a time that I actually felt content with where I was in life - rather, I have always checked accomplishments off my growing list while impatiently looking ahead to see how much longer I have to go until I have the life I always wanted.  The older I get, the more hopeless I feel - watching friends get married, holding other people's babies in my arms, failing to save money that might bring a house.  It is miserable.  Sometimes the life I want feels so far away, so impossible, that I wish I could just sleep to pass the time rather than wait in agony.

Then came the epiphany.  I must say, I think I am prone to epiphanies.  After a restless night, more than a few tears, a traffic jam, and a good conversation with a friend, it hit me: the problem isn't that the world is not giving me the life I want, it's that I never learned to love the life that I have, which is terribly sad because my life is pretty damn good.  I have never been a patient person, but I am trying so very hard to remind myself that I am the most fortunate person I know.  I am surrounded by people who love me.  I have a great job that allows me to learn something new every day and to help others grow.  I am with a man who completes and compliments me in ways I never thought possible.  No matter what life I end up with, be it the one I have always dreamed of or something completely unimagined, I know I will look back with regret if I do not begin to savor every precious moment that I am given and learn to slow down.  I want to learn, more than anything; the purpose of this post is to help remind me to do so.  One of my friends recently joked to me that the first step in a recovery program is to admit you have a problem.  So, here goes nothing...

My name is Jenna Leigh, and I am a dreamer.  I love dreams, and I believe that everyone should have them, but I dream so much that I do not know how to be happy where I am.  I want to change, and I hope you will help me.  Baby steps :)

ten things: that make me smile

 

1.  I have the best boyfriend in the world.  No, seriously.

2. While I do not necessarily consider myself a "girly girl" I do have a soft spot for dresses, particularly ones with a vintage feel.  Miss James of Bleubird Vintage has some of the prettiest ones I've seen.  Love her style.

3.  My sisters are the best around.  I am ever thankful of their toleration of my ridiculousness and could not imagine my life without them.

4.  I am in love with all things "chicken."  I have wanted to raise chickens ever since my cousins got them back when I was a wee one.  While I do not own property yet on which to raise my coop, I have started a silly little collection of chicken paraphernalia that continues to grow.

5.  Okay, I admit it: I'm a coffee fiend.  I do try to opt for decaf when I've had too much of a good thing and do a few caffeine "cleanses" per year, but I just cannot resist the smooth, delicious taste of a hot coffee with milk.  Any hot beverage will do really... hot tea, cocoa, mulled cider... is it autumn yet?!

6.  This particularly adorable little one giving me the who-the-heck-are-you stare is my cousin's beautiful not-so-baby-anymore baby.  Her big, doe eyes just melt my heart.

7.  Jane gets me.  I often think that my brain is really that of a 19th century, precocious and slightly-pretentious middle class British girl, and somehow I got mixed up in time and space.  It's nice to connect with the people from "home" every once in a while :)  Oh, Mr. Darcy!

8.  I am obsessed with farming and sustainable agriculture.  I get butterflies just thinking of gardening, composting, and beekeeping workshops.  Don't you?  Haha, probably not, but I have always wanted to live and work on a farm.  The farm in my future is probably a small, family/hobby farm, but little guys count, too!  I am very happy that I recently discovered Stone Barns Farm, a nearby center that offers training in farming and livestocking.  I can't wait to get started!

9.  Kittens.  Need I say more?

10.  Dreams are what keep me going through most days.  I grew up a dreaming, scheming little child and my imagination and big hopes for the future have never ceased.  

growing pains.

As a teacher, I have been exposed to a lot of discourse on the issues of bullying and harassment, especially in the last few years.  With the prevalence of technology in our society and all the benefits that come with it, we are witnessing the creation of new mediums for social interaction, both good and bad; cyberbullying and other forms of torment have become hot topics in the media.  Programs like the Bully Project and MTV's "It Gets Better" initiative are becoming commonplace amidst stories of teenage suicide and other tragedies.  What I am starting to wonder is: does it really get better?

I remember wishing and hoping as I sat in my guidance counselor's office eating lunch every day in high school that it would.  I hated high school and crossed every day off as one day closer to freedom, to a life without the drama, gossip, and backstabbing.  What I am finding in my adult life, however, is that the drama never really ends.  I have been so disappointed to find that many of the teachers in the various schools I have worked in choose to act just like their adolescent students - talking behind others' backs, judging books by their covers.  It's heartbreaking, really.  You cannot even get away with being the quiet girl who keeps to herself - it's somehow warped and mistaken for "arrogance," which becomes fodder for coffee room whispers. I try so hard not to get caught up in what others think, to be true to myself, and to keep my head held high... but lately, I've been a bit weary.  People are relentless.  How can we expect our children to treat each other with warmth and respect if we cannot even allow each other to live in peace?  Maybe it doesn't get better, maybe our skin just gets thicker.  I don't know.

My beloved grandmother frequently reminded me of Bette Davis's quote that "getting old isn't for sissies."    Boy, was she right.