and she's too broken to fix so let's burn this girl down.

What a mess. I cannot pretend to be doing alright. I think I am quite a disaster, actually. As the stress of finals piles on and the lack of sleep sets in, I am becoming more and more conscious of my mother's absence and of all the pain that has woven itself through the fabric of this year. The tension and distress tug at the hem of my dress; they bite at my cheeks in the cold and wake me in the midst of the night... I miss her. I miss my family. I miss people. I miss you. School has me living the life of a recluse. I have always been a bit of hermit but never as much as I am now. I am thankful for the things that I have learned this term, and for the opportunity to study at such a fine institution, but I am desperate for the upcoming recess. I need to see the ones I love, to experience their warmth, to feel my purpose. I only wish that she could be there.

I need encouragement. Just two more weeks! Why do I feel so overwhelmed? I know that I can do this. I suppose I just wish I had a hand to hold. Your hand. Fingers interlaced. Send me your love. I need you more than ever.