confessions of a workaholic.

The first week full week of school has flown by and I am sitting at the Ridgewood Coffee Company in a state of confusion and disarray.  What just happened?  It is as if the past seven days were not even real; they were here and gone in the blink of an eye.  How did I lose control of my schedule so quickly?   Why does the thought of "me time" seem to be a mere fantasy, a figment of my imagination?  I cannot believe how little I slept, laughed, or read this week.  The idea of having enough energy to go on a jog or to sit down and blog seems like a whimsical dream.  As I sit here sipping my chai and trying to regain consciousness in the blur that is my life, I am coming to a frightening realization: I am addicted to being busy.  It has always frustrated and amazed me that I never seem to have any time for myself.  Exercising.  Crafting.  Writing.  Sleeping.  I never have enough time to do the little things that bring me joy and comfort.  So, what is it, then, that deprives me of this time that I crave?  What gets in the way?  I am finding more and more that the answer really is: myself.  I get in my way.  I cram my schedule full of errands and spend so much time worrying about these silly little things that I rarely seem to get to the things that really matter.  While it is true that some tasks cannot be ignored - lesson planning, tutoring for extra money, meetings - the reality of it is that I find ways to stock up on trivial, time-consuming tasks that rid me of my ability to do what I really want to be do.  I am the epitome of an own-worst-enemy type; I play the role to a tee.  So here, readers, is a little pledge to commit a little bit more of my life to myself and the person I want to be.  Here's to more minutes spent learning and creating and less fretting and fussing over nothing.  I am good at making and breaking promises to myself, so let's see if I can hold myself to this one.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!