Thursday, May 20, 2010

sweet nothings in springtime

I cannot believe that it is already mid-May, reader. I apologize for the extensive hiatus in my writing, but April marched on with such intensity and agony it was a challenge just to catch my breath... research papers, heartache, tearful goodbyes, a graduation... phew! It is overwhelming just to think of the past few weeks and all that has transpired. I am now an Ivy League graduate - a status I have sought after since I was a little girl, yet something that seems fairly meaningless as I lie here in my father's backyard, a topless sunbather watching my rambunctious pup frolic about the lawn in her typical gazelle-like fashion. I feel the weight of my prestigious, overpriced education on my shoulders, the vast array of books and authors, pedagogical philosophies and stratagems neatly tucked away in the appropriate compartments of my mind, but for the moment that all seems trivial. So, what was the point of the past eleven months? The acquisition of glory? Accomplishment? Simply to have my name associated with a distinguished institution? Thankfully, no, although no doubt such a thought crossed my mind a time or two. Luckily for me, despite returning home jobless, partner-less and without a penny in my pocket, I have walked away from my year at Penn with a set of valuable truths I now hold dear to me. I have learned, my love, that I am capable of accomplishing nearly anything to which I set my mind. I have discovered the meaning of a true friend. I have stumbled upon a hidden talent for baking extraordinarily pretty and scrumptious desserts (a faculty I plan on utilizing frequently in the coming years). I have realized the importance of cutting yourself a break every now and again. And, perhaps most importantly, I have learned that in spite of my constant yearning for adventure and new experiences, adventure without purpose is essentially inane. All the escapades and trysts, however exciting or romantic, could never satisfy my desires because what I truly crave most in this world is meaning. Purpose. Depth. No thrill or rush, no matter how strong, is of value to me if it does not bring me closer to the ones I love, or God, or a better understanding of the world. No lover's kiss, no matter how sweet or passionate, is worth it if I have no hand to hold or heart to share... With this in mind, reader, I set out on the eve of summer and my 25th year, to fill these next few months (and why stop there?) with meaningful adventures to share, and to cherish and to learn from. Maybe you will come along. I can only hope.