As a social studies teacher, I get to address some pretty interesting, controversial, and all-around awesome topics in my classroom. In my sociology course, we just began our unit on gender and sexuality. This is my first time teaching the course, hence my first time approaching this topic, and I have been counting down to it all year. I am very interested in gender studies and have become even more intrigued as I have served on a statewide committee for women in education. I am planning on leading a faculty seminar on women's issues this spring and have been looking forward to sharing and discussing this topic with my students. To my dismay: they just do not seem to care, at least not yet (cue violins).
There is no doubt that we have "come a long way (baby?)" and should be proud of the advances made by women in America and around the world. Through both individual and collective efforts, women have made gains politically, economically, and socially, especially since the 1950s. Can you even imagine living in a society where women cannot vote? Where they are not allowed to hold political office or seek higher education? In so many ways I am fortunate to have been born when and where I was. Thank you, Alice Paul. Thank you, Eleanor Roosevelt. Thank you, Betty Friedan. But I think that sometimes we get caught lingering in the glow of our accomplishments, and quickly forget that there is still much to consider and much to be done.
I'm really disappointed when people mistakenly associate the word "feminist" with male-bashing women who are trying to "destroy the family" or take over the world. Not to say that after many years of falling victim to perpetual sexual harassment and even a few devastating instances of sexual assault (all while navigating through a world where pornography and air-brushed media are the "norm") that I don't occasionally find myself frustrated with some imaginary, collective group of "men." But that's not what feminism is. It's not anti-masculine, it's not anti-family, and it is not something that should be dismissed. It is about wanting equality, wanting opportunities, and wanting to be viewed as an individual, a human being with talents, rights, and value. It's about wanting to pursue whatever course you want, without unnecessary roadblocks, resistance, or criticism. We're told as youngsters that we should dream big, that we can become anything we want. What they don't tell us, is that following those dreams might mean sacrificing others, or dealing with unexpected obstacles. As the oldest of five children, I have always been an assertive leader, but I am finding that my leadership isn't respected in many situations. Even in my career, I am frequently told by students and colleagues alike that it is hard to take a woman seriously as an authority figure. It has been suggested that I act more "bitchy" or be less "warm" or "cute" if I want people to listen to me. What message is this really sending? Are leadership and femininity conflicting terms? How can I find fulfillment in a role where people do not take me seriously just the way I am?
Sometimes I think that women experience extra pressure for choosing one path and sticking to it. Are you going to dedicate your life to the family and home or to a career? Well, what if you want to do both? What if you want to do EVERYTHING?! I do not believe our society truly allows for this. Despite the fact that we still seem to value women most for their sexual and nurturing capabilities, it does not even seem like we give most women the option to be stay-at-home moms anymore. The only viable options I see for a woman who wants to stay at home with her family is to forego college and hope someone will marry her (or that she's mature enough to know who the "right" person is at such a tender age) or to go ahead and continue her education but be lucky enough to have parents who can pay for it, earn substantial scholarships, or marry someone "rich" enough so she does not have to work a full-time job to pay off her loans. I have never been someone to sit back and wait around for things to happen, so I got busy doing the things I had dreamed of: college, grad school, traveling... and loved every minute of it. I have always dreamt of raising a family on my own terms, but that is a dream that requires the participation, love, and commitment of someone else - it's not something you just wait around for. Now that I am with someone who I know is right for me, the thought of creating and caring for a family crosses my mind on a regular basis, but lately, that dream has felt hopeless. I am a strong, intelligent young woman and foregoing an education was never an option for me - but does being an educated woman, now saddled with significant debt, mean I will never get the family life I've always wanted? Was that really something I was expected to figure out when I was eighteen?
So, if we can't be taken seriously in our careers, and if staying home with our family means we may have to give up academic dreams or other personal pursuits, what does this country REALLY want from its women? I've been thinking about this a lot, especially since my return from Scotland, where a college education is considered an educational right, not a privilege or a sacrifice. Shouldn't we be promoting a society where individuals can pursue ALL of their dreams, not just pick one? I don't know. Sorry, reader, for bombarding you with this complex, confusing assortment of cerebral emanations but I am continually deprived of much-needed intellectual conversation. While I am still probing my brain for ways I can interest my students on these topics, I decided to use you as my current outlet of frustration. I think this post is a conglomeration of the inner turmoil I am experiencing over seemingly-insurmountable student loans, apathetic students unfazed by the exploitation of women, and a rapidly approaching 27th birthday (when I have yet to save the world, as planned). So many things to do, so little time, so little money... where do we go from here?
I'm really disappointed when people mistakenly associate the word "feminist" with male-bashing women who are trying to "destroy the family" or take over the world. Not to say that after many years of falling victim to perpetual sexual harassment and even a few devastating instances of sexual assault (all while navigating through a world where pornography and air-brushed media are the "norm") that I don't occasionally find myself frustrated with some imaginary, collective group of "men." But that's not what feminism is. It's not anti-masculine, it's not anti-family, and it is not something that should be dismissed. It is about wanting equality, wanting opportunities, and wanting to be viewed as an individual, a human being with talents, rights, and value. It's about wanting to pursue whatever course you want, without unnecessary roadblocks, resistance, or criticism. We're told as youngsters that we should dream big, that we can become anything we want. What they don't tell us, is that following those dreams might mean sacrificing others, or dealing with unexpected obstacles. As the oldest of five children, I have always been an assertive leader, but I am finding that my leadership isn't respected in many situations. Even in my career, I am frequently told by students and colleagues alike that it is hard to take a woman seriously as an authority figure. It has been suggested that I act more "bitchy" or be less "warm" or "cute" if I want people to listen to me. What message is this really sending? Are leadership and femininity conflicting terms? How can I find fulfillment in a role where people do not take me seriously just the way I am?
Sometimes I think that women experience extra pressure for choosing one path and sticking to it. Are you going to dedicate your life to the family and home or to a career? Well, what if you want to do both? What if you want to do EVERYTHING?! I do not believe our society truly allows for this. Despite the fact that we still seem to value women most for their sexual and nurturing capabilities, it does not even seem like we give most women the option to be stay-at-home moms anymore. The only viable options I see for a woman who wants to stay at home with her family is to forego college and hope someone will marry her (or that she's mature enough to know who the "right" person is at such a tender age) or to go ahead and continue her education but be lucky enough to have parents who can pay for it, earn substantial scholarships, or marry someone "rich" enough so she does not have to work a full-time job to pay off her loans. I have never been someone to sit back and wait around for things to happen, so I got busy doing the things I had dreamed of: college, grad school, traveling... and loved every minute of it. I have always dreamt of raising a family on my own terms, but that is a dream that requires the participation, love, and commitment of someone else - it's not something you just wait around for. Now that I am with someone who I know is right for me, the thought of creating and caring for a family crosses my mind on a regular basis, but lately, that dream has felt hopeless. I am a strong, intelligent young woman and foregoing an education was never an option for me - but does being an educated woman, now saddled with significant debt, mean I will never get the family life I've always wanted? Was that really something I was expected to figure out when I was eighteen?
So, if we can't be taken seriously in our careers, and if staying home with our family means we may have to give up academic dreams or other personal pursuits, what does this country REALLY want from its women? I've been thinking about this a lot, especially since my return from Scotland, where a college education is considered an educational right, not a privilege or a sacrifice. Shouldn't we be promoting a society where individuals can pursue ALL of their dreams, not just pick one? I don't know. Sorry, reader, for bombarding you with this complex, confusing assortment of cerebral emanations but I am continually deprived of much-needed intellectual conversation. While I am still probing my brain for ways I can interest my students on these topics, I decided to use you as my current outlet of frustration. I think this post is a conglomeration of the inner turmoil I am experiencing over seemingly-insurmountable student loans, apathetic students unfazed by the exploitation of women, and a rapidly approaching 27th birthday (when I have yet to save the world, as planned). So many things to do, so little time, so little money... where do we go from here?
My gram, working at an army base as a teenager during World War II
My own Rosie the Riveter :)
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