priorities.

This evening I helped a student prepare a debate assignment for her history class tomorrow. The task was to determine the area that she believes most warrants the government's immediate attention and to argue in support of her choice. We read a collection of New York Times editorials supporting myriad topics and selected the one we felt most supported her values. The articles advocated for government focus in areas like job creation, healthcare, environmental protection, and Middle Eastern foreign policy. My student believed that the economy deserved to be the government's number one priority. We spent the rest of the night crafting arguments in support of her conclusion.

The assignment of the evening got me thinking about my own life and how I sometimes feel as though I am being pulled in a thousand different directions. I have so many interests, so many goals, so many items on my to-do list, and like so many others, so little time. My father often laments that he is a "jack of all traits, master of none," and that this sorry fact kept him from being truly successful in any one area. I refuse to doom myself to such a fate but find it is so hard to remain focused on what I truly want (or even to know what I truly want). How can I begin to be a "master" of anything?

So what if I had an assignment of my own - an argument in defense of what area of my life deserves first priority and immediate attention - what would I choose? If I consider what is most important in my life, my loved ones are the first things I think of. I treasure my relationships with Douglas, with my family, with close friends... I would not trade them for the world and they are always at the forefront of my mind. But then I hear my mother's voice in the back of my head telling me that, while relationships are important and deserve my love and attention, I have a tendency to put other's needs before my own and to build my whole life around these relationships. Maybe my focus should be on me and what I want for my own life.

Okay. So, what do I want? If you have been reading this blog for long enough, you know that the answer to that question is everything. I cannot tell you how many times (see: here, or here, or here) I have posted about not having enough time to complete my daily tasks, let alone fulfill my heart's desires. One of the gripes I hear most from people is the never-ending cycle of multitasking that leaves them wiped out every day; the constant list of things to do that get in the way of the meaningful life pursuits. My heart cries out with the same troubles. I am constantly pursuing short term goals and rarely feel like my big-time dreams (a home and family, continued education, a successful writing career) are any closer to becoming a reality. I check off 6,573 items on my to-do list every week - homework, bills, errands, tutoring - but the dreams always linger in the background, somewhere off in the distance just out of reach. I did everything I needed to do to get to point A (a good education, a steady job I enjoy) but now I am ready for point B and I haven't the slightest clue how to get there. So, what is the solution? I need a really good kick in the tush (any takers?).

Tomorrow I am going to post a bucket list, a list of items that I believe absolutely must play a part in the short time I am given on this planet. Lucky for me, I can already check a few of these tasks off my lifelong to-do list (why is it so hard to be satisfied with that?) but my hope is that making this list public will give me that extra push to tenaciously seek what I am after. I want to die with a smile on my face knowing that I pursued all of my passions; I guess it is time to figure out what all of those passions are. Encouragement, collaboration, and financial donations (just kidding) are welcome. Here I go.

What will you prioritize tomorrow?